7.18.16

I was going through quite a tumultuous time during the Capricorn Full Moon. I was trying to grieve the separation phase I was experiencing with my twin flame. I kept just feeling an intense sadness. Way down to the depths of my soul. I couldn’t make sense of the agony and longing I was feeling to save my life.

Why was this hurting me to core? I felt the hurt within every fiber of my being. As if that wasn’t enough within itself my false twin crept back in trying to take his place. I was truly under psychic attack. I wasn’t fulfilling any light work. Too much of our shadow energies were alive and thriving. I didn’t trust my own feelings at the time. Ego was truly in the driver’s seat. Oddly, enough talking to him was making me feel better because for a moment-even in the midst of the illusion I was joyous because I had my friend back. Naturally, it helped take my mind off of things.

Not to mention my Saturn, Neptune and Uranus are all in Capricorn in the third house. My own inner masculine energy was being cleansed. Feelings pertaining to the Capricorn energy were rising to the surface: masculine energy, finances, career, public image and my overall work ethic. The universe was purging all delusions, old narratives and outdated templates from my psyche. My father even randomly texted me telling me how proud of me he was. I hadn’t talked to him in months. Capricorn is the fatherhood energy template ruled by old man Saturn dealing with authority, discipline, work ethic, drive, career, stability, fatherhood, etc.

Thankfully, my mother treated me to a getaway at Cache Creek Casino and Resort. I am not gambler-at least not when it comes down to my paper. However, I am a sucker for good food. I love their buffets. Which was closed but I just relaxed, unplugged, and was just presently at peace.

   

During my crystal detox bath. I sipped wine. I cried silent tears (Capricorn aren’t emotional much like my sun sign Aquarius but it was still Cancer season. I felt the emotions but it was a tug a war releasing them). I affirmed out loud all of the things I needed to release from my lower three masculine chakras: solar plexus, sacral and root.

Between the crystal moonlight bath, and the comfort food (FYI: belgian waffles are my ultimate go to cheat meal, morning, noon or night, summer, spring, fall or winter) room service in the middle of the night. I slowly began feeling like myself again.